Monday, August 20, 2012

The Grass Is Not Always Greener

Over the weekend, I started reading a book written by a famous evangelist and author, Beth Moore. The book is called So Long, Insecurity! Mark joked that it’s a self-help book, but it’s really not. It’s mostly a book written by a woman who has struggled with insecurity for most of her life and felt compelled to help others who struggle with the same thing. If you do the math here, you will probably figure out that insecurity is something I struggle with. However, that may be another post at another time… maybe not, we will see.

However, one of the chapters in this book discusses how a lot of people that struggle with a lack of security in their own selves often envy someone they perceive as “put together” or possessing a certain quality that the insecure person doesn’t. For women (okay, by women, I mean me), this usually looks something like envy of the woman who is thinner, taller, blonder, funnier, smarter or more fit than we are. But this book has done a wonderful job of reminding me that just because I see a woman who seems more put together or can run farther than me, doesn’t necessarily mean they are happier than me. 

The more I thought about this, the more I realized how true this probably is. At the times in my life when I’ve seemed the most put together, I’ve actually been the most troubled for one reason or another. I think a lot of times women tend to want to counterbalance their struggles by pretending they possess some security or feature that they really don’t. With social media networks like Facebook and Instagram, it has become so easy to hide our troubles under filtered photos of us with friends having fun and being “carefree.”

Not only did this chapter help me feel slightly better about myself, but made me more aware of the fact that I most likely brush past a lot of people who are going through something hard in their life without a second glance. This brought to mind a quote I’ve heard many times from Plato, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." I think it’s so much more important than we realize that we treat every person we come across with kindness instead of envy. This is something that I already know will not be easy for me, I envy people so much more than I should. But maybe if I lean more toward kindness, the envy will disappear on its own. J Just a few thoughts on this Monday. C’mon Friday.


  1. I've always struggled with insecurity different ways. Lately, I've been a lot better though. I constantly talk to myself aloud like an nutter, telling myself things like, "You're alright, Matt." I think what really helps for me though is something I learned from Chris Hardwick's book, The Nerdist Way (of which a large portion has to do with insecurity). Events and opinions are valueless. We assign our own value to them. So perception is what creates insecurity. When I have an insecure thought dwelling in my brain, I replace it with something funny. Like when I met this new guy who all my friends loved so much that they started to kind of ignore me, all I thought of was him taking my friends. BUT THEN, I started thinking he has a need to be liked because if the majority of people in a room don't like him, he will burst into flames and die. Suddenly, I not only chuckled but I also was perfectly okay with talking to him and I didn't feel envious or threatened at all. You should totally try this!

  2. These are great thoughts. Thanks for posting.