Recently I decided to start attending a grief counseling class that begins next month. Now let me preface this post by saying I hate talking about my feelings, let alone to complete strangers. A few months after my dad passed away I went to one grief class with my mom. It was something I was willing to try out for her, but I was never able to open up during the class, even when the counselor asked me specific questions.
When Mark and I decided to get married at Prestonwood Baptist Church in Plano, we had to attend a premarital counseling class at the church as a prerequisite. I really enjoyed the class, but it was pretty big and we weren't forced to talk about ourselves that often. However, when we chose to use a pastor from Prestonwood to officiate our wedding, we had to delve even deeper into premarital counseling and attend three one-on-one sessions with our pastor. This is where it got real. When it's you, your fiance and a pastor sitting in a room (that seemed to continually get smaller the longer we were in it), you are forced to open up and discuss your feelings. I realized after the first five minutes of the first session that I would be uncomfortable for all 180 minutes we had to meet with this man. However, as uncomfortable as I felt during the sessions, I felt so much better after each one. It was like layers on an onion had been peeled away. As painful as it was during the session, it was nice to be honest in this room. It was nice to walk away from these sessions knowing we were normal for feeling some of the things we were and that everyone gets stressed during the months before their wedding.
I'm not really sure how I will feel about this grief class. I know off the bat it will be hard for me to go into this class, not knowing anyone, and open up about how I am feeling. However, I think it's something I need to do. I need to know I am not the only person who feels this way and I need to be able to vocalize my feelings to someone other than Mark (I'm sure he will appreciate that too). So hopefully this will be a positive experience for me and I will be able to peel away a few more layers of the onion. :)
Ps, since I didn't really have a photo to use for this post per se, I decided to use a photo of the paintings my sister painted and gave me and Mark yesterday to hang in our bathroom. I love them!