Some Things You Just Don't Understand

If you've read my blog before, you most likely know that my dad passed away about a year and a half ago. What some of you may not know is that he passed away as were getting ready to meet Mark for dinner so he could meet my parents for the first time. I won't go any further, but you can imagine that has left me with a lot of unanswered questions.

I am such a strong believer that everything happens when it does for a reason, whether we know what that reason is or not. The fact that Mark never got to meet my dad and vice versa is something I don't think I will ever fully understand. On our first lunch date ever, I talked to Mark a lot about my family. I can remember the exact stop light we were at when I told him that my dad is my best friend and warned him about bringing up flag football if he wasn't prepared to hear seemingly endless "glory days" stories. (Yes, I knew Mark would meet my parents after just one date... as I've said before, when you know you know.)

Mark and I have had so many conversations since we've been dating, engaged and now married about how he and my dad would have hit it off so well. A lot of times I just imagine double dates with my parents or holiday dinners with the entire family. I know Mark and my dad would have spent hours upon hours discussing sports and the meaning of life. They both have such a logical personality and I could just see the discussions that would have emerged between the two.

I often struggle with the fact that Mark may not recognize my personality traits that I have because of my dad. I can tell just by how much my mom and sister love Mark that my dad would have been more than proud of me for the man I somehow convinced to marry me. When Mark and I first started dating, I told my dad every detail of every date and conversation (sorry I'm not sorry haha). My dad laughed at some of the stories I told him about Mark before we had even started dating and I was just a girl crushing on a boy at her office. Occasionally, I will look through old text messages from my dad and let Mark see just exactly the sense of humor my dad had. While I will never be able to say Mark met my dad, I will definitely love getting to tell him story after story of the impact my dad had on my life.

On a side note, I finally mustered up the courage to share my story last week at the grief class I attend. Baby steps...