Last Thursday night, Mark and I decided to go see a movie called Celeste & Jesse Forever after dinner. From what I had read, it was going to be a romantic comedy about a young couple that was planning to get divorced... but I could only assume they would come to their senses and reconnect before the end of the movie. I mean, it was a romantic comedy after all. However, by the end of the movie I was struggling to hide my tears from Mark. The couple did not end up together. (Sorry if you were planning to see the movie yourself.)
In this movie the couple was undeniably best friends. They had inside jokes, similar interests and seemingly endless fun together. But as the movie progressed, you came to discover that each person had their problems and neither one was willing to give the marriage their all. As silly as it seems, this movie gave me so much perspective on marriage.
I consider Mark my best friend, hands down. Since the first week we met, I tell him everything that happens to me on a daily basis. He knows everything about me and we are comfortable enough around each other that I am exposed to his flatulence on a daily basis (TMI I'm sure). Plain and simple, I love this man and I could not be more certain he is my soulmate.
What this movie brought to my attention is that it's not enough to be best friends. It's so important to be so many other things as well. It's important to be encouraging, understanding, forgiving, loving and honest with the person you marry. I would love to say Mark and I live every day in complete happiness, but life happens and that's just not the case. However, even in our worse days I can honestly say I respect and appreciate my husband more than anything. Anyone who says you don't have to "try" at marriage is lying. It is crucial to reassure your spouse on a regular basis. Let them know the things they are doing right. We so often subconsciously let our better halves know what they are doing wrong that it's important for us to make a conscious effort to reaffirm them when they are doing right.
I often have to take a step back and think about how I would feel in Mark's shoes. It's not always about getting what we want or being right. Recently I told my husband that I feel like we watch too much sports. This is the perfect example of me simply wanting to have my way. I love love love watching sports and I never feel like we watch too much. However, I wanted something tangent that I could argue, so I chose that argument. Once I was able to take a step back and see how I was making my husband, the man I love, feel, I took an immediate step back. It's so common for us to get caught up in gaining "points" or getting the upper hand that we don't take a step back and appreciate what is right in front of us. That is certainly something I work at daily and it something that puts perspective in my life and marriage for sure! :)
Okay... time to go watch A&M get their butt kicked. ;) Sic 'em!